Slave Spotlight

Slave Spotlight #1


i am owned by Ms. Amity. She has full rights to use me as She pleases without regard to my needs – i should say needs that i used to have. Over the course of several years, my predominant need has become simply to be a vessel that exists to serve Her, in any way She desires. The more Ms. Amity takes and uses me to satisfy Her wants and desires exclusively, the deeper is my feeling of absolute submission to Her.

Last summer, i begged for Her to take me into absolute slavery, a place where only Her needs existed, a place where i pledged there would be no limits, a place where i relinquished all right to say “No” to Ms. Amity. (A word of caution: before you tell a dominant woman that you will have “no limits,” be certain that you trust and know her). After assuring Herself that i understood what such a place would be like, what She expected in terms of complete devotion and obedience – and after months of my begging from within for Her to take me fully into a deep and absolute slavery to Her from which there would never be any retreat – Ms. Amity took me and i relinquished all i promised and begged to relinquish.

Before Ms. Amity mercifully put an end to my begging for a depth of slavery that i had never known, She wanted me to understand that the chastity in which She had been keeping me would be permanent. i would never again orgasm. Except for hygiene and torment, the cock and balls would go without touch. my cock had not been stroked for nearly a year by then and it would never be stroked again.

Some of my FAVORITE CBT toys! that you can buy from The Stockroom.

A dominant woman recently wrote, asking about Ms. Amity’s milking of me. Ms. Amity directed me to edit my response so that it would be suitable for posting on the web. This is my response to the woman, which has been edited primarily for her privacy. Ms. Amity has used two techniques to milk me. Neither is easy in that they take a bit of practice and sometimes work better than other times. The first technique is the traditional prostate massage. Though this can be used to enhance the intensity of an orgasm, it can also be done in a manner that denies the male any feeling of ejaculation. If done fully and properly, and with no erotic stimulation to the penis, the male (at least me; i can’t speak for others) experiences a feeling of calmness of body after the process but no feeling of orgasmic release. Ms. Amity has used this technique with and without ice around my genitals. While the ice adds to the process physically (it is at first painful and then numbing) and mentally, it made little difference to me in denying to me any satisfaction from the process. i think my Owner’s goal in milking was both health related and control related. Her goal was not to give me pleasure. Quite the opposite. For this technique, Ms. Amity placed her gloved finger in my rectum and began massaging and pushing on the prostate. When She would see some evidence of semen or sperm, Ms. Amity might simultaneously press and move Her finger on the underside of the penis from the base to the front to “push it along.” She would do this in a non-erotic manner. As She massaged the prostate, i would feel an internal build-up of pressure that was mildly uncomfortable but uncomfortable enough so that i would feel desperate for her to “get it all out” – that it is how it affected me and what i begged for – to get all of it out. Ms. Amity would not let me see what came out. This added immensely to my feeling of having no control and of being object-like. i had to rely on my Owner both for the release and to be told what type of release i had. i had no control over my own body. However, i knew if She had fully vacated me. If there was only a partial release of cum, i continued to feel the internal pressure for a short time afterwards and did not experience the feeling of calmness that i described earlier. Whether the milking was fully or partially complete, the process kept me mentally far more ready than an orgasm to serve Ms. Amity. For me, and for many (all?) men, after orgasm, i was far from the head space i needed to be of best use to my Owner; it could take a week or longer to fully feel my submissive self again. This is one, but only one, of the reasons that Ms. Amity determined some time ago that i will live without orgasms. i think Ms. Amity originally liked milking me because of the exchange of power and control. However, after experiencing prostrate milking, she was ready to “move on.” Prostate milking can take 20 minutes or longer to do well. It can be more effort for the domme than the sub and can (depending on the persons and their needs and desires) become something done more for the sub than the domme. Ms. Amity then learned a technique for milking from a friend in New England. This technique involves a good vibrator. Though it has certain characteristics of a ruined orgasm, it is different in certain fundamental ways. Ms.Amity has me stand against a wall. She uses a vibrator that looks like this. She applies the vibrator for brief periods to different parts around my genitals, including pressing in my lower groin area above the testicles and near the base of the penis. This is done somewhat firmly. It is not erotic. Ms. Amity will at times go up and down the penis with it. It stimulates me some but not for a prolonged time or in an erotic manner that might occur during lovemaking or even masturbation. At times, she will hold the penis firmly, bent down and apply the vibrator directly to the head of the penis, creating in me a sensation of the head becoming hot. Ms. Amity keeps changing where the vibrator is applied until she feels i am “primed.” Again, there is little build-up – nothing resembling normal foreplay. But, with little and minor arousal beforehand, i suddenly feel i might orgasm. She might sense it and stop. If not, i am required to tell her if i think i am on the verge of an ejaculation. She will then stop. At this point, i feel some movement inside the penis. That is all i feel. i have no feeling of release and, because i am not permitted to look, i have no idea of how much comes out. On some occasions, so much has drained out that Ms. Amity was certain i had experienced an orgasm. i had not. i had felt only some slight movement inside the penis and no relief whatsoever. Peeing gives me more relief – at least then i can feel some type of pressurized release.

Some of Lady Carole’s wonderful drawings!

You asked if this latter technique is pleasurable. It most definitely is not. It feels asexual when it is being done – there is no erotic pleasure or feeling. It is functional. Immediately before i am drained (that is how i can best describe the cum evacuating from my body during the process), the tip of the vibrator is often held against the head of the penis, which is bent, mostly soft and not erect, and there is a heating or burning sensation in the head. There is no feeling of a powerful, or even pressured, ejaculation. Only once has there even been a small spurt.

This method of evacuating cum is far less pleasurable than being milked via the prostate. Although there is little and often no arousal with the vibrator as Ms. Amity applies it, there is stimulation. So i am left with no feeling of orgasm but still stimulated from the vibrator. i do not experience any calmness of my body as i did with prostate milking.

Mentally, this latter technique is a bit of a mind fuck. i crave the milking because i want some relief from the edginess i am feeling from no orgasm and being played with. Mentally, i want the cum out of my body. So i want the milking because i mentally associate milking with relief and i think (or thought – see below) that being drained is important for health reasons. Yet i know milking via the latter technique may leave me in as bad, if not a worse, condition, than before the milking.

You asked about the frequency of milkings. The milkings were never frequent – they could be months apart.

There is a balance. Going without any orgasm, there are times when my libido drops, which does not serve Ms. Amity well. Before my Owner determined (or at least before She told me; i suspect that She knew how She would use me much earlier and then determined the most effective way to condition me for Her needs) that i would cease experiencing orgasms, she began denying them for longer periods of time. I noticed that after having one, and after the initial “down period,” I would be more edgy that I had been just prior to the orgasm. In other words, I became used to not being orgasmic. This is one problem with the eunuch fantasy. Without hormone treatment, a eunuch might become more placid than suits the owner’s needs. The drive and responsiveness of the slave that many Dommes want, is lost.

So i think that, whether it is mentally or physically, a sub/slave needs to be kept to some degree in a state of arousal.


This weekend, Ms. Amity told me that i do not need any relief. i understand this to mean that there will be no more milkings of any type. She coupled this with telling me that although the balls and cock will remain attached to my body, they will just hang there. As a practical matter, i will live without a cock (except as an appendage to be tortured).

Amity chuckles – Heh heh.